I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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