I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
whose parrot is this?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
