I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
