He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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