dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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