What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
