How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
