idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i think i have herpe
just one?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
