I love black thongs
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
