Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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