that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
