Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
