i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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