and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
