broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
