i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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