whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
