bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
how does that bad decision feel?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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