OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Pants 0. Shit 1.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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