remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
