Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
