I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
