A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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