This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
