doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
worst night to have a conscience
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Randomize
