my vag is so smooth its legendary
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
