But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
