Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
