But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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