i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
