No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I need a beard to bite.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
