I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
my poor anus
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
