dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
