you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
