If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just want to make out with him forever
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
