Christians are straight up FREAKS
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
