U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
