its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Randomize
