She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
