I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
