i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
