yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
