i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
