I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
