508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
