so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Randomize
