so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
its liver damage thursday
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
