Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
