so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
