I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
me + whiskey = a bad person
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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