then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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